


I'm with you, are you with me?

by CordeliaOllivander



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Friendship, Love Confessions, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:41:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22673455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CordeliaOllivander/pseuds/CordeliaOllivander
Summary: Remus was supposed to be safe, he was supposed to make it and finally live the life that he had painfully built for himself.Then he died, and Hermione's soul died with him.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 86
Collections: One true wolf





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My submission for The Wolf's Lair: True Loves Wolf Fest!
> 
> My Prompt: Hermione had figured out long ago that Remus was her soulmate. She also figured out that he knew, long before her. She thought she could live with a rejected soul bond if it meant that Remus was happy.
> 
> Then he died in the battle.
> 
> Her soul couldn’t take the loneliness, so when the chance to go back in time presents itself, she takes it, hoping that maybe this time, he will let himself love her.

Hermione held a sleeping Teddy in her arms as silent tears rolled down her cheeks. Even little Teddy was dressed in all black, from head to toe. She hated the color. Her simple black flats, black skirt, black dress shirt. She hated it all.  
  
It had been the color that she’d worn almost every day for two straight weeks. This time though, this time was the hardest. A front row seat to Remus Lupin’s funeral. His wife, Nymphadora, lay in a casket right next to his. Andromeda had held it together for nearly the entire service, Hermione admired her so much. She wanted to fling herself onto the casket and sob inconsolably.  
  
Remus wouldn’t want that though. He wouldn’t want _her_ to do that.  
  
So she sat here quietly, his son clutched to her chest as her soul died slowly.  
  
After she was sure that everyone had left his grave site, and Teddy was sleeping in his new room at Andromeda’s, Hermione went back. She was still dressed in black, the only difference being she had one of his cardigans draped over her shoulders. She’d taken it fifth year, he had to know, he wasn’t a stupid man by any means, but he never once said anything about it. It no longer smelled like him, but it was his and she adored it.  
  
“What am I supposed to do now?” She breathed as her shaking fingers traced the etched stone bearing his name. “Remus... please tell me what I’m supposed to do now.”  
  
Curling up into a ball she leaned against the cold gravestone and sobbed. Heart wrenching silent sobs that came right from her soul. _It should have been me_ echoed in her mind. _It should have been me._  
  
“Hermione?”  
  
She didn’t move. She didn’t have the energy. She did however open her eyes and see that it was getting dark out, she’d been here longer than she intended to be.  
  
“Harry and Ron are looking for you.” Bill said softly as he came closer and sat down in the grass beside her.  
She swallowed the tears she wasn’t finished shedding as she wiped her face. “Of c-course. They w-worry.”  
“They do. Do you want to talk about it?”  
  
Hermione shook her head.

“You I’m here, if you ever need to. I might... understand a little more than anyone else.”

She turned her tear stained face to look at him. “Understand what? There’s n-nothing to understand.”

“Hermione.”  
  
Bill tilted his head in a disbelieving manor, telling her that he knew more than she thought.  
  
“When I was attacked, it changed things about me. I can sense things a little better than others, especially when it comes to others like me. Remus was a very stubborn man. Brilliant, but stubborn.”

Hermione smiled sadly. “Yes he was.”

“It was you, wasn’t it? His mate. I could feel the change, it took me a while to realize that is wasn’t Tonks.”

Fresh tears leaked from her tired eyes. “Yes. I always belonged to him. He just... never belonged to me.”

“I was lucky with Fleur, she bound herself to me without a second thought. I would do anything for her, even before the attack. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling.”

“I’m... lost. I have no idea how to go on. It hurts, Bill. It hurts so much.”  
  
He pulled her close and she rested her head on his shoulder. The ache the emptiness left still sat like ice in her chest, but the understanding Bill was offering calmed her just enough to compose herself.  
  
“If I could bring him back, I would.” Bill told her some time later.  
  
Hermione stayed quiet. Remus deserved the world. He deserved the life that he had made for himself. The loving wife he had, the son that they brought into the world. The praise and respect he would have gotten for being the war hero he was.  
  
What kind of life did Hermione have? She had no home, no parents. No Remus. That small voice echoed those familiar words again in her mind. _It should have been me._

* * *

  
  
Three weeks went by since Hermione’s confession to Bill. She tried to carry on with her life. She moved in with Harry at Grimmauld Place. She went for dinners at the Burrow. She did everything everyone thought she should be doing. She would save her misery for when she was lying alone at night.  
  
She was just headed down the stairs to go to Andromeda’s when she heard the floo. Seeing Teddy both healed and shattered her, but he was the last piece of Remus she had.  
  
“Hermione, are you there?”  
  
Rushing down the stairs she saw Bill’s face lit up in the flames.  
  
“Bill? Is everything alright?”

“I’m not sure, it could be. Would you mind coming to Gringott’s?”

“Right now?”  
  
She watched his face as he hesitated, really thinking about his answer.  
  
“I think it’s important.”  
  
She stared for a moment, a nervous feeling fluttering in her stomach.  
  
“Yes, I’ll be right there.”

“I’ll be waiting in the lobby.”  
  
Bill disappeared before she could say anything else.  
  
Gringott’s looked just as grand as it always had, the goblin’s magic had restored the bank back to it’s beautiful state after she, Harry and Ron had destroyed it with their escape. She got more than a few dirty looks from the goblins as she walked up to the large front desk.  
  
“Excuse me. I’m here to see William Weasley. My name is-“

“Hermione Granger.” He old goblin snarled.

“Yes, that’s right.” She held her head high and retained eye contact. She’d faced down worse than him before.

“Hermione, thank you for coming on such short notice.” Bill said kindly as he stepped out of a hidden doorway. “Please, follow me.”

She knew she shouldn’t have, but she felt very gratified walking passed the head goblin with a smirk on her face.

  
“What’s this-“

“Not yet.” Bill breathed. “We’ll talk in my office.”  
  
They quietly walked through the lavish halls, turning several times before they arrived. Bill opened the door and ushered her in first, before he firmly shut the door and walked over to his desk. Instead of sitting behind it, he took one of the chairs in front of it, next to Hermione.  
  
Bill reached over and picked up a small wooden box that sat on his desk. “I’m going to show you something, and I want you to really think about what I’m going to tell you.”

Hermione watched with wide eyes as he opened the lid of the box, revealing a time turner. “Bill, how do you have that?”

“There are more than a few curious things in the vaults at Gringott’s.” He pushed it into her hands as she continued to stare at it. “It’s beautiful.”

“It is.” He agreed. “This one appears to be even better quality than the one you used before.”

Her head snapped up at that. “How did you know?”

“In a moment of weakness Harry told me. Back in your fifth year, when dad almost died.”

Hermione nodded in understanding. Harry still felt horribly guilty about the deaths and injuries that were caused by the war. “Why exactly are you showing me this?”

“So you can use it. I might not be able to bring him back, but you can be sent to him, to a time when he was still alive.”

Hermione’s lips parted in shock. “Bill, I couldn’t possibly...”

“I know it’s a lot to think about.” He said quickly. “Take all the time you need.”

She looked at the magnificent time turner just sitting in the box before her. She could go back to him. “How far?”

“That’s up to you. It depends on what you want to change, I suppose.”  
  
Her fingertips ghosted the cold metal. A time turner. She could go back to his childhood, she could stop him from getting bitten. She could stop-  
  
“I can’t.” She slammed the box shut. “Time is not something to mettle with.”

Bill placed his warm hands on top of hers. “I think you should give it at least some consideration.”

“It would change everything.” She whispered, her voice coarse.

He simply smiled at her. “Wouldn’t that be the point though?”

“But you would never have met Fleur-“

“You don’t know that.” He cut in.

“Bill.” She pleaded. “This is... I just don’t now about this. I would be giving up everything I have here. Teddy... he would-“ she shook her head and shut her eyes. How horribly selfish she was being with entertaining this thought.

“I realize that.” He said gently. “Depending on far back you wished to go, things will be very different. You’re future would be different. Just, think about it. Take a few days, weeks, months. Just know that the option is open.”

* * *

  
  
Hermione laid in bed that night, thinking. She thought about Remus, how wonderful it would be to see him again. She thought about Teddy, who she knew was a beautiful child that came from the love that his parents shared. She thought about Harry, how desperately she would miss Harry. Did she have the right to alter so many lives like this? What about her grief made her so special?  
  
Getting out of bed she walked quietly down the hall to Harry’s room. He decided to make Sirius’s room his, and that alone made Hermione wonder if Harry had the chance, would he bring him back?  
  
“Harry?” She breathed.

“Can’t sleep?” Harry asked as he stretched his arm out, beckoning her over.

Her shoulders relaxed at the gesture. No matter what, Harry was always her safe place. “I have a lot on my mind.” She answered as she crawled in next to him.

“Wanna tell me about it?”

“I don’t even know where to begin.” She said honestly.

“Yea. It’s been rough, I know.” Harry’s hand found hers and he gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“I hate not knowing what to do.”

“Hermione, somehow you always know what to do.”

“Not this time.”

“Well.” He grunted as he rolled to his back, bringing her along with him so her head rested on his shoulder. “I think you would have to consider what you want first. What’s important to you. Forget everyone else, what do you want?”

Her eyes filled with tears as she thought of Remus. “I know what I want.”

“We’ve been martyrs for the cause long enough.” Harry said gently. “Whatever it is, put everything you have into it.”

She turned her face into his shoulder and flung her arm around his chest. “I love you, Harry. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“Shh. Don’t cry. You know I love you, you’re my family.” His arms came around her and pulled her close. “Everything’s going to be alright now.”

Hermione nodded, even in her awkward position. “Thank you, Harry. For everything.” Pulling away she wiped her eyes, wanting to see him clearly, to burn his face into her memory. This was the closet she could get to actually saying goodbye.

“Let’s get some sleep.” He brushed a knuckle across her cheek, wiping away the wetness.

“Mind if I stay with you?”

Harry smiled at her. “Want me to narrow the bed, like the cot was in that tent? For old times?”

“I don’t fancy sleeping on the floor when I fall off of it, thank you.”

Harry’s throaty chuckle warmed her heart. “Good night, Hermione.”

“Good night, Harry.”

* * *

  
  
Her precious beaded bag was all packed. Everything she would need, everything she wanted to remember, was stored safely inside. She had visited the Burrow, she hugged everyone, one last time. She went to see Teddy and kissed his plump cheeks as much as she could. She closed her Muggle accounts and had everything ready to exchange. Now all that was left was to go to Gringott’s.  
  
Thankfully she wasn’t questioned this time and was shown right to Bill’s office.

“Hermione?” He greeted as he stood. “I wasn’t expecting you so soon.”

“I’m ready.” She said the moment she shut the door. “I’m ready.”

“You’re sure?”

She gave a jerky nod. “Positive.”

He looked her over for a moment before he nodded and pulled out the box from his desk. “What year have you chosen?”

“1978.”

Bill raised his eyebrows, but didn’t say anything. Instead his crooked smile took over his face. He pulled it out and handed it to her. “This office has always belonged to the head curse breaker. I’m not sure who that was in seventy-eight.”

She glanced at the clock on the wall, lunch time. “I’ll take my chances.”

“Do you have everything you need?”

She nodded and took a deep breath, then launched herself into his arms. “Thank you. I’ll do my best to fix it.”

Bill hugged her tightly. “I know you will. Now go and change your world.”

~

  
  
Hermione let out the breath she was holding when time finally stopped. Thankfully the office she was on was empty, so as quietly as possible she made her way back through the halls of Gringott’s. She felt very disoriented, but tried to push it down. It wouldn’t do for her to collapse right in the middle of Gringott’s. She had no plan on how to meet Remus at all, and she knew overthinking it would only frustrate her. The lobby seemed even more immaculate than in her time, making her look like a tourist she as sure.  
  
Stepping out into Diagon Alley felt so at home yet so foreign. Everything looked lighter and cleaner. The shops were still the same and just as busy as ever. The warm sunshine bringing people out to shop and spend their galleons. She wondered if she should acquaint herself with how things worked here, if she should check-  
  
“Oh!” Hermione hit the concrete hard as she rolled down the last few steps.

“Are you alright?” A stranger had asked as they helped her to her feet. “That was quite the fall.”

“Yea.” She touched her forehead and felt a trickle of blood and groaned.

“Here, let me heal that.”

“Oh, really, you don’t-“  
  
A wand was pointed at the cut on her forehead before she could protest any further. She felt the pain subside almost instantly, the spell working so well that she was sure it wouldn’t even scar. She turned to see who had helped her, to thank them for their hospitality and be on her way, then sucked in a harsh breath.  
  
The man held out his hand. “Name’s Pete.”  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Peter Pettigrew.  
  
“H-hello.”

“Never seen you around before.”  
  
His smile was wide and innocent, and Hermione didn’t know how to feel about that.  
  
“Um, I’m... new.”

“Oh. Well, welcome to Diagon Alley! Me and my mates can show you around if you’d like. I’m actually quite late to meet them. Do you know what butterbeer is? It’s my favorite.”

“Uh-“ Her mind was racing too fast to comprehend what he was really saying. Peter looked so young, so carefree. She supposed he had every right to be, they’d just graduated after all.

“Miss? Are you alright? Maybe you hit your head a bit harder than I thought. My friend Lily can fix you right up! Brilliant witch, she is.”  
  
He took Hermione by the hand and began weaving her through crowds of people. She had no idea where they were going, and was in too much shock to ask any questions. After an incredibly short walk Peter pushed open a random door and dragged her up the stairs.  
  
“Oi, James!”

“Wormy! You’re late!”  
  
Hermione felt like she was going to hyperventilate.  
  
“Where’s Lily?”

“Inside unpacking.” James nodded to Hermione. “Who’s your friend?”  
  
Peter stopped so quickly that Hermione ran right into him.  
  
“I never did get your name.”

“Hermione.” She breathed. This was all so surreal.

“Hermione!” He spun back around to face James. “Ran right into her at Gringott’s. Tumbled down the stairs and everything.”

James dropped the boxes he was levitating and rushed over. “You alright there, Hermione?”  
  
No, she was definitely not alright. Her eyes only saw Harry. Even though James had different eyes, all she saw was Harry.  
  
“Better get her inside, Pete.”  
  
She was led inside and sat down on a lumpy couch that had definitely seen better days.  
  
“Lils!” James called out. “We need you!”

“What have you idiots done now?” She laughed as she walked down the hallway. “Oh, hello.”

“This is Hermione.” James explained. “Pete says she bumped her head pretty hard, she seems a little disoriented.”

“Oh dear.”  
  
And now Harry’s eyes were staring right at her. She felt like she was going to have a panic attack.  
  
“I think we should take her to Mungo’s.”

“No!” Hermione burst out, snapping out of her thoughts. “No. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? Would you like some water?”

Hermione nodded. “I’ve been... traveling. I’m a little tired, that’s all.”

“Would you like to lay down?”

She nodded numbly. “I feel... dizzy.”

“Here, let me help you.”  
  
Lily pulled her up and helped her to a bedroom. Hermione didn’t realize that James and Lily had a place in Diagon Alley before they moved to Potter Cottage, when she woke up she would have to take a better look at the place.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Hermione said weakly.

“Oh, don’t be sorry. Here, lie down, take a few minutes.”

Hermione stopped and looked at the red headed witch. “But you barely know me.”

“True, but Pete seemed to like you, and he’s about as good as they get!”  
  
Hermione could feel her emotions lodging in her throat. Lily must’ve taken note of the change, and pushed on until they made it to the bedroom.  
  
“Here we go. Go ahead and get comfortable, I’ll be right back with some water.”  
  
Hermione hit the bed and curled up into a tight ball. She was asleep before Lily came back.

* * *

  
  
  
When Hermione woke up she felt a lot better. Now calmer than before, she stretched and realized that someone had covered her up with a light blanket. It felt soft and well used, and she couldn’t help but snuggle into it. Figuring that she’d overstepped her welcome with her humiliating grand entrance, she sat up and took a deep breath. The curtains were drawn so she wasn’t sure what time it was, and judging by the still empty room no one had done any unpacking in here.  
  
Opening the door to the bedroom she heard voices coming from the living room and walked out as she fussed with her hair that had come undone. Shoving it all in a messy bun she figured it was what it was.  
  
“Hello, there, sleepy head.” James joked with a bright smile.

“Hello... James.” She forced herself to say. The name felt very strange on her lips.

“Ahh, you remembered! That’s a good sign.”

“Thank you for letting me rest. I’ll just be on my way.”

“What’s the rush?” Peter asked. “Did you have somewhere to be? You did say that you were new.”

“I... actually I was on my way to get a room.”

“Well, if you want you’re more than welcome to stay here.” Lily said brightly. “For dinner at least.”

“Oh a dinner party!” James squealed as he shot up from his spot on the couch. “Mom used to have those with her lady friends! Let’s see, where is the fine China?”

Lily snorted. “There is no fine china.”  
  
A small bubble of laughter escaped Hermione’s lips. They were certainly adorable. “You don’t need to do all of this for me.”

“It’ll be fun!” James said as he flung plates across the room to a waiting Peter.

“If you break any of those so help he god!” Lily chastised.  
  
The front door opened and Hermione was met with a very good looking Sirius Black and a very young Remus Lupin.  
  
“Fighting already are you?” Sirius said lightly as he entered.

“Well they’re being idiots.” Lily explained.

“They’re always idiots.” Remus said with a smile as he carried in bags and set them on the table. “Thanks for helping Siri-“  
  
Time stopped in that moment.  
  
Remus looked up and met her eyes, and she couldn’t help but stare back. He was so young, so handsome. He stood taller and didn’t have as many scars. His smile was genuine and not forced or strained.  
  
“Do you know each other?” James asked, now aware of the chemistry between them.

“Not that I know of.” Remus said quietly, still looking at Hermione. “What’s your name?”

It took a moment for Hermione to find her voice. “I’m Hermione.”

“That’s a beautiful name.”

“Sounds like a mouthful.” Sirius said from behind him.  
  
And just like that the moment was broken. She couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed so hard.  
  
“He’s really not that funny.” James said as he began to unpack the bags of take out Remus had brought in. His face gave away his lie though, he clearly thought Sirius was hilarious.  
  
“This is Hermione, and she’s new to town and staying for dinner.” Lily announced as she came over to the table.

“Look, Moony!” Sirius said with a clap of his hands. “Our first house guest!”

That got Hermione’s attention. “This is... you live here?”

“Just moved in.” Remus said shyly. “Sirius and I.”

“Sirius your room is good to go.” Peter said to him. “Rem, we couldn’t get to yours. Poor Hermione fell earlier and she was resting.”

Remus’s eyes found hers again, full of concern. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, your friends have been really kind.”

“Pete brought her. Saved the day, he did!” James said as he patted his friend on the back.  
  
Peter seemed to preen under the praise, puffing out his chest and smiling broadly.  
  
“Well I’m starving.” Peter said to the group. “Hermione, pick a chair.”

* * *

  
  
As the night went on, Hermione felt more and more comfortable. It was truly remarkable to watch the marauders together, and she drank it all in, appreciating what a gift it was to see them all this way. It made her wonder when and why it all went wrong. They laughed and drank and everything felt perfect.  
  
“Well it’s time we make our leave, boys.” James said as he stood from the table.

“It is late, and we have a lot to do tomorrow.” Lily placed her hand in James’s as he helped her up. “Hermione, it was wonderful to meet you. Please don’t be a stranger.”

She smiled at her. “I hope I won’t be.”

“I best be off, too.” Peter said as he gathered their butterbeer bottles and brought them to the counter. “Promised I’d help mom at the bakery tomorrow morning. Carol is sick again.”

“Oh man.” Remus said sadly. “Hope she gets better.”

Sirius nodded in agreement. “She’s a sweet lady.”  
  
“See you around lads!” James called out as he opened the front door. “Love the place.”

“Real gem isn’t it?” Sirius said with satisfaction. “It’s perfect. Night.”

“Where are you staying, Hermione?” Remus asked, his attention back on her.

“Oh!” She burst out. “I never got a room! This is my first day in town.”

“So stay here.” Sirius said with a shrug. “Our place is loads better than the Leaky.”

“Oh, I couldn’t.” She replied nervously.

“Nonsense. One of us can take the couch.” Sirius rose and shrugged his leather jacket on.

“Where are you off to?” Remus questioned.

“It’s Friday night, Moony!” Sirius winked him. “I’ll be back later.”

“Whatever. Stay out of trouble, would you?”

Sirius gave him a mock salute. “Yes, mom.”  
  
Now that they were the only ones here, Hermione began to get awkward all over again. She didn’t know what to do with herself or how to act. She loved his man, her soul called for him. He was right here and she didn’t know what to do.  
  
“Well, like Sirius said, you’re more than welcome to stay here.”

“Are you alright with that?” She asked.

He looked at her, as if he was trying to piece together who she really was. “Yes.”

* * *

  
  
Remus couldn’t sleep. The full moon was a week away and his heightened senses had been assaulted with Hermione’s scent. She was everywhere. He could smell her on his blankets and sheets. Her scent still lingered in the air as he tossed and turned. The smell of her shampoo surrounded him as he flopped around. It was driving him mad.  
  
He’d only known the woman for a few hours, but he was already overcome with desire for her. He inhaled harshly, taking huge gasps of air to fill his lungs with nothing but her. It was comforting, frustrating and seductive all at the same time. He wanted her. Bad.  
  
Launching himself out of bed he went out to the kitchen for a glass of water. He shouldn’t be having these thoughts. She could have a boyfriend for all he knew, no one bothered to ask. Really, the only thing they knew about her was that she was new to town and had no support system. She had no family or friends that she spoke of, and never told them why she was here.  
  
Heading straight for the sink he filled a tall glass and gulped it down, the ice cold water seemed to help calm his racing mind. Quietly setting the glass in the sink, he turned and looked at her sleeping form on the couch. She had insisted on taking the couch, making Remus feel even more like an ass. He should have put up more of an argument. He blamed his foggy brain for that.  
  
The blanket he gave her was half on the floor, her long legs sticking out and the sleep pants she had on were riding up, exposing her calf. He was overcome with lust, at just the sight of her leg!  
  
“Get a hold of yourself.” He mumbled as he ran his hands down his face.  
  
His tented pants forced him to return to his own room, where he finally gave in and let his mind take over. He thought of nothing but her, and had never orgasmed so hard in his life.

* * *

  
  
Remus woke the next morning surprisingly well rested. His late night acts exhausting him enough to get some decent sleep. He shrugged one of his favorite sweaters on and made his way out into the kitchen, wondering what to have for breakfast. He wasn’t sure what to make that wouldn’t disturb Hermione, but he figured he could at least have a simple cup of tea.  
  
Glancing over at the couch he stopped at the sight of it. It was empty. The blanket was neatly folded and draped over the side, no evidence at all that it has been used. He noticed Hermione’s jacket and purse were gone, and he was overcome with sadness. She left and didn’t even say goodbye. No note, no nothing. He briefly wondered how he could find her before he realized that maybe she didn’t want to be found. She left without a word, making it perfectly clear that-  
  
The front door opened and Hermione stepped inside, her arms loaded with a tray of drinks and a bag of something that smelled delicious. Remus was grateful for the strong scent coming from the pastries, it covered up Hermione’s addicting aroma for the time being.  
  
“Oh, good morning.” She breathed. “I thought I’d be back before you woke up.”

Remus smiled at her, giddy at seeing her again. “I’ve only been up a few minutes. I wondered where you’d went off to.”

“Well, I was going to make breakfast, but didn’t sent to disturb you. And I love the danishes at Rosa Lee’s.”

Remus looked at her curiously. “Did you stop there yesterday?”  
  
Hermione seemed to freeze up at the question.  
  
“Yes, first thing.” She walked over to the counter and set everything down. “I got breakfast for everyone.”

Remus took the to go cup from her gratefully and hummed as he took a sip. “You must like your tea just the same, it’s exactly how I like it.”

She gave him a small smile. “I’m glad.”

“Sirius won’t be up for a few hours yet, I’m not even sure what time he came home.”

“A little after one.” She answered. “He tried to be quiet, but he ran right into the end of the couch.”

Remus snorted. “Ever graceful.”

“He was sweet, actually. We talked for a few minutes.”

“You did?”

“Mhm.” She took a small sip of her tea before she looked up at him. “He’s... he’s so full of life.”

“He’s arrogant.” Remus corrected as he grabbed a danish from the bag.

Hermione gave him a genuine smile. “I think he’s great.”  
  
He tried to stamp down the jealously. Really, he had no claim to her, not a single one, but he was jealous of Sirius anyway. For the few extra minutes that he got to spend with her, the open way she spoke of him. The smile that was meant just for Sirius.  
  
“Thank you for breakfast.” He blurted out, his tone harsher than he intended it to be.

“You’re welcome. I would have made something like I said, but I knew you needed to rest.”

He tilted his head.” Why would I need to rest?”

“Oh. Well, we were all up late last night.”

“That was hardly late, Hermione. Ten pm on a Friday night?”

She laughed at him. “I never did have much of a social life. My friends and I always had something else going on that prevented that.”  
“Oh? Like what?”  
  
Her eyes seemed far away and sad. She didn’t answer him, instead she looked away and swallowed down the clear emotion written on her face.  
  
“I’m sorry.” He said gently. “I don’t wish to pry, merely to get to know you.”

“No, I’m being over emotional.” Her voice strained. She cleared her throat and gave a shaky smile. “I just miss them, that’s all.”

“Well, you’re welcome to mine anytime. Although I should warn you, we’re some of the most annoying people on the planet.”  
  
She belted out a laugh, then quickly covered her mouth with her hand. Remus waved his hand to try and wipe away her worry.  
  
“You won’t wake him, trust me. A hippogriff could be charging through the room and he wouldn’t hear it.”  
  
She smiled at him again, making his insides flutter. What was it about this woman that he couldn’t get enough of?  
  
“So, what are your plans today?” He asked.

Hermione sighed. “I’m not sure. I suppose finding a place to stay should be at the top of the list.”

“You don’t have to leave.” He blurted out. “I mean, you know, neither Sirius or I would mind if you stayed.”

Her lips parted in surprise. “You’d... you’d let me stay with you?”

“I know it must sound crazy.” He said before he could stop himself. “I’ve only just met you yesterday, but I’d like to see more of you. I’d like to get to know you.”  
  
Her eyes got watery at his words. “I’d like that, too.”  
  


* * *

  
Remus couldn’t think of a better way to spend the day. He’d taken it upon himself to show Hermione around, and they visited all of his favorite shops. Her eyes lit up at the book store, and Remus felt like they had so much more in common than what he originally thought. When she admitted that she could spend hours browsing books, he smiled.  
  
Lily was the only one that shared his love of books. James just seemed to be good at everything without trying, and Sirius was more concerned about living moment to moment. Remus wanted to throttle him on more than one occasion for leaving his studying until the night before, but somehow Sirius always passed with excellent grades. Pete on the other hand at least tried to share this interest, and he loved him for it, but he knew that he’d rather be off causing mayhem with Sirius and James. More often than not Remus sat by himself in the Hogwarts library, soaking up every word he could.  
  
Their conversation had naturally drifted into their studies. She’d told him how she had never sat for her NEWTS, due to this horrible situation she’d found herself in. He still had no idea what that was. He was surprised to learn that she’d studied the Hogwarts curriculum, he was certain that he’d never seen her before.  
  
“I was privately taught.” She said carefully. “I’ve never been to your school before.”

“Would you like to see it?” He held out his hand and she took it without question, apparating them to Hogsmeade.  
  
Walking up the path to the school he kept an eye on Hermione, everyone’s reaction to seeing Hogwarts for the first time was magical. Their face filled with awe and excitement. It was the best place on earth in his opinion. He had so many wonderful memories here.  
  
Hermione did not look happy. In fact, she looked rather sad. Heartbroken. Then he realized his mistake.  
  
“I’m so sorry, I should have been more considerate. I don’t know your reasons for not attending, I should have thought this through a little better.”

She patted his arm in reassurance. “Don’t be sorry. It’s a beautiful school.”  
  
He suggested lunch, and offered to buy to make up for it. He took her to Pete’s moms little cafe, he could think of no better place to eat since he loved the sandwiches they made. Hermione seemed nervous at first, but soon relaxed as their lunch went on. He introduced her to Pete’s mom, and she gave them lunch on the house, foiling Remus’s gentlemanly plans.  
  
“Bunch of us are going out tonight, Moony.” Peter said with his mouth full. “You going?”

Remus rolled his eyes at his friends manners. “Haven’t decided.”

“Oh come now.” Peter chastised, after he finished his bite of sandwich. “It’s the first time we’ll all be together since graduation!”

“Which was only a few weeks ago.” Remus reminded him.

“Minor detail.” He said with a wave of his hand.

Hermione laughed at that, making her entire face light up. “Where are you all going?” She asked.

“Oh, do you want to come?” Peter asked excitedly. “Remus, you’re girlfriend said she’s in.”  
  
Remus sputtered on his coke, making Peter laugh at his expense.  
  
“A muggle pub we found a while back.” Peter answered. “It’s always good fun. Everyone will be there, the whole gang!”

“Even Dorcas?” Remus said with a grin. He leaned in close to Hermione. “Pete’s had a Ukrainian Ironbelly sized crush on her for a good year now.”

Peter’s round face flushed. “She’s really pretty. And nice. Super smart.”

Hermione smiled at him. “I’d love to go.”

“Really?” Peter and Remus said at the same time.

“If that’s alright. I’d like to meet the rest of your friends.”

“This is brilliant!” Peter shouted in excitement. “I’ll tell Marley, she’ll be excited about that.” Peter turned his attention to Hermione. “She’s got a thing about numbers. Now we’ll all be equally paired.”

“Except for the twins.” Remus pointed out.

“T-twins?” Hermione stuttered.

“Fabian and Gideon Prewett.” Remus answered, oblivious to her distress. “Firecrackers the both of them. Too bloody smart for their own good.”

“They’re always a good time.” Peter added.

“I- I can’t wait to meet them.”

Remus turned to her and watched her carefully. “Are you alright?”

Hermione gave him a fake smile. It didn’t reach her eyes and her shoulders were still too stiff. “Of course. I’m looking forward to tonight.”

* * *

  
  
Remus felt nervous. An excited sort of nervous that he hadn’t felt in a very long time. It was just another night out, yet it wasn’t. Hermione was coming along and for the life of him he had no idea why that made him so excited. They’d spent the day together and it had been wonderful. He showed her all of his favorite places and then came back and made a very simple dinner, but she seemed to appreciate it.  
  
He thought back to the side along apparition he’d used when he stupidly brought her to Hogwarts. The feel of her warm hand in his felt so right. He couldn’t explain where these feelings were coming from, he’d never felt anything this strong before. Every now and again he would catch her glancing at him, too. It made him wonder if she felt just as alive as he did.  
  
“Are you going to ask her out or are you just going to think yourself around in circles.” Sirius smirked from his spot on the couch.

Remus rolled his eyes dramatically. “I’ve known her for one day, and we’re going out tonight.”

“Then tonight, ask her out again. It’s obvious that you like her.”

Remus sighed then leaned against the countertop, folding his hands in from of him. “I can’t explain it. She just... does things to me.”

“Ohhh.” Sirius said with a wiggle of his eyebrows. “It’s like that?”

“Shut up, Sirius, it is not.” Remus felt his face getting flushed and knew Sirius would know he was lying. “Alright, it’s like that a little.”

“Just ask her out, Moony.”  
  
The nickname sobered him up like a slap of ice cold water.  
  
“No. I can’t. You know I can’t.”

“I know no such thing.”

“And in a week when I turn into a monster what do you suggest I do then?” He shot back.

Sirius held us his hands in surrender, then got up and came to stand in front of him. “She seems like she’s seen some shit. I think she could handle it.”

“I am curious about what happened to her.” He admitted.

“Just see where it goes, Yea? You never know.”

“I do know. It will never work.”  
  
Remus heard the bathroom door open and shoved Sirius away. He looked up as Hermione walked into the room, looking stunning. Her hair was down and he itched to run his fingers through it. Even though she wore jeans and a simple shirt, he felt very inadequate.  
  
“Hello.”

“Hi.” She smiled.

“Well, if you’re ready...”

“I am.”  
  
Remus felt giddy as she walked right to him and grabbed his hand.  
  
“I’ll just get there on my own then.” Sirius whined.

“You know where you’re going, Pads.” Remus reminded him. “She does not.”  
  
Hermione stuck her tongue out at him and Remus laughed. Really, truly laughed.

~

  
  
They apparated into an alley a few blocks away from the bar.  
  
“So, tell about your friends.” Hermione said softly.

“Well, Hogwarts is a boarding school, as you probably know. I’ve basically lived with these people for the last seven years. Their as much my family as my own blood.”

“I know exactly what you mean.”

Remus gave her hand that he was he still holding a gentle squeeze. “Where are you from?”

She sighed heavily. “Very far away.”

Despite the obvious dodge of the question, Remus smiled at her. “Marley and Sirius have this sort of casual thing going, I can’t really explain it. Honestly, I don’t think they can either. Then there’s Frank and Alice-“  
  
Hermione stiffened beside him, but didn’t comment.  
  
“They’ve been together for a while now. Then the twins, be careful around them, they like to prank people.”

“Do they really?” She asked in a kind voice.

“All the bloody time. Damn smart pair they are. I’d trust them with my life.”

“Tell me more about them.”  
  
He felt like he talked her ear off the entire walk there. It was only three blocks, but he spilled out details about his friends like his mouth would fall off if he stopped.  
  
“Remus!”

A voice caught his attention and he looked up and smiled. “Hey, Dorcas.”

“Oh it’s been ages!” She squealed as she flung herself into his arms.

“Ooph. It hasn’t really.”

“Feels like it.” She breathed. “Who’s your girl?”  
  
Remus’s face felt like it was on fire. He wasn’t sure what to say. He should start by correcting her, but then he didn’t want to make things awkward. He could say-  
  
“Hermione. My name is Hermione. It’s nice to meet you.”

Hermione stuck out her hand and Dorcas shook it firmly. “Dorcas Meadowes.”

“And I’m sure you remember me.” Sirius grinned from behind her.

Hermione smiled at them both. “Nice to meet you, and hello, Sirius.”

“You guys go on in, I’m gonna what out here for Pete.” Dorcas said with a wave. “I’ll see you inside.”

Hermione looked passed them to the bar and laughed. “The Harvest Moon? Really?”

“See, Moony?” Sirius said with a slap to Remus’s shoulders. “It’s hilarious.”

“I can’t stop laughing.” He deadpanned.

Hermione gave him a pitying smile. “I’m sorry. Let’s go in.”

“After you.” Remus said as he opened the door.

“Hey! You made it!” James shouted as they made their way over to the table.

“Just waiting on a few more.” Sirius said as he flopped down in a vacant chair. “Then we can get the party started.”  
  
Hermione was introduced to everyone as they walked in, feeling nostalgic and overwhelmed at the same time. Meeting Frank and Alice was a very surreal, and her heart ached for them. They were so energetic and so in love. They filled every moment with excitement, something that amused her greatly. She had no idea Neville’s parents would be so lively.  
  
Peter and Dorcas acted like a young couple in love, although Remus had told her that they weren’t dating. She was waiting for Peter to ask and he was too terrified of rejection. It made Hermione wonder if she should give him a little push in the right direction. Marlene and Sirius were the same way, but it was clear they were much more casual about it. They both flirted with nearly everyone that walked by but always came back to each other after a while. It made Hermione smile, Sirius Black was never one to be tamed.  
  
“Did you start without us?” A cheerful voice behind her had her freezing on the spot. She turned to see two very hall redheads behind her. “Oh, hey there!”

“Gideon.” She breathed.

That made them both stop. “How could you tell?” Gideon asked.

She stared for longer than she should, but couldn’t help it. “A guess.”

“Pretty lucky one.” Fabian said from beside his brother. “You’re Remus’s girl?”  
  
Remus seemed to choke on air, while the rest of the table held in their giggles.  
  
Hermione decided to take her chances. “Hopefully.”

Sirius whistled from behind her. “Better get a move on it then, Moony!”

“Shut it, Pads.” He hissed.

“Well.” Gideon smirked as he reached for Hermione’s hand and kissed it. “If he never asks, you just find me, alright?”

Hermione giggled at him. He was just like Fred. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Now that everyone’s here.” James announced, let’s get some drinks going!”  
  
Hermione couldn’t remember the last time she’d had this much fun in such a short amount of time. She’d forgotten what it felt like to be this free. It almost pained her to see these people so happy and so unknowing. She vowed that she would do what she could to save each and every one of them. She had already altered the timeline by coming back, and if she could somehow have the best of both worlds, she would.  
  
“What are you thinking about?” Remus asked her.

Hermione looked at his worried face, not realizing how lost in thought she was. “Home.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Some of it.” She answered honestly. “But, I’m glad I’m here.”  
  
The live band began playing a slower song, and all of the women at the table pulled their significant others to the dance floor.  
  
“Well, what do you say?” Remus’s smile was no where near confident, but he held his hand out anyway, asking her to dance.

“I say yes.”

He pulled her out of her chair and tugged her close to him, swaying back and forth with the music. She let her body mold to his, her arms snaking around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. She wanted to cry and laugh and scream to everyone here how much she loved this man. How she couldn’t believe that he was holding her like this. The Remus she knew never returned her affections. He had too many reasons not to. This younger Remus, he had nothing holding him back. He had no excuses not to be with her.  
  
Overcome with the emotions flowing through her, she cupped his cheek and turned his face to hers, and kissed him. It was slow and sensual and perfect... until he jerked away and looked at her with horrified eyes.  
  
“Hermione, I- I don’t think- I’m not sure if we should do this.”

She backed away to put some space between them. “I’m sorry. I was- I wasn’t thinking.”  
  
He stared at her, trying to work out what to say.  
  
“I should go.”  
  
She turned away and ran to the table and grabbed her beaded bag, then headed for the door.  
  
Remus didn’t stop her.  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

  
  
“For the last time, Sirius.” Remus growled. “I don’t know where she is.”

“Have you even bothered to look?” Sirius shot back. “There’s something different about her. I don’t know what it is, but there’s more to her than we see.”  
  
Remus threw his arms over his face in frustration as he lounged on the couch.  
  
“Try to find her.”

“It’s better if I don’t.”

“For who exactly?” Sirius asked bluntly. “Who are you protecting? Because for the last five days you’ve been an absolute prick.”

“She’s better off.”

Sirius threw his hands in the air. “I’m done having this argument with you.” He snapped as he made his way to the door. “I’m going to find her.”

“Sirius-“

“I’ll see you tonight.”  
  
He made sure to slam the door, making Remus want to punch the wall. He felt like the stupidest man alive. He was trying to protect her. He was trying to spare her the life that she would have if she was with him. Not quite a man, not quite a monster, but a little of both. He had no job, no income to support either of them. If it weren’t for Sirius’s inheritance from his uncle Remus wouldn’t have a place of his own. He couldn’t giver her kind of life she so clearly deserved.  
  
Yet damn it all, he wanted her. He wanted everything about her. Her smiles, her mind, her body. He thought of nothing else since she had quite literally stumbled into his life. He couldn’t damn her to such a life, but this one time, he wanted to be selfish. He wanted to see what kind of life they could have. He’d argued with himself so many times about if she should try to find her, explain to her that he wanted her, he just shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t.  
  
In the end his mind always won out over his heart, so he stayed where he was, miserable. The moon would be up in just a few hours, and he knew he should be making his way to the shrieking shack soon so he could prepare for the long night ahead of him. If he was lucky maybe he would be able to work out his frustrations. He could honestly say that he never looked forward to a transformation more than he did tonight.

* * *

  
  
Hermione walked right up to the shrieking shack. She still had a few hours before Remus would show up, if he even used this house anymore. Her curiosity had gotten the best of her, and in the end it won out over her rationality. She wanted to see what the place looked like in this time, if it was the same dreary shack or if the years of neglect had worn it down into the place that she knew it to be.  
  
She held her tears in as she looked around, remembering the times that she had spent here. The first time that she ever met Sirius, the moments during the final battle when Snape was murdered. She wondered if this house knew it’s fortune. Somehow knew the dark things it would see.  
  
She didn’t know which room Remus preferred for his transformations, but she spent the most time in the room where they’d found Ron in back in their year. The room with the Piano. She could picture Remus sitting and playing it in the final moments before his transformation, trying to remind himself that he was still human.  
  
With a sigh she turned to leave, his most recent rejection just being to much to handle. She wanted to go to him, find him and explain that she was here, and will continue to be here. She gave him his space though, the days before the moon were always the hardest. She would try again after, there was no way she would ever give up on him.  
  
As she descended the stairs a shadowed figure emerged from their hidden spot against the wall.  
  
“How about we skip the ambiguities and tell me who you really are.” Sirius said as he locked eyes with her.

“It’s complicated.”

“The best stories usually are.”

“I’m not here to hurt him.”

Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked closer to her. “Then what are you here for? Tell me where you’re from, and how you know what you know.”

“I can’t.” She whispered.

“And why not?”

“Because I don’t know if I can.” She said honestly. “I don’t know if it will change anything.”

Sirius slapped the wall, making a few chunks of plaster fall off and hit the floor. “Damn it, Hermione! I’ve spent the last week convincing him that you would never run from him! That you were someone he could trust! That we could trust! Do you have any idea how hard it is for people like us to let someone in?!”  
  
To her own credit Hermione didn’t flinch away. She matched the fire in his eyes with her own, the years of rejection fueling her on. “Yes, as a matter of fact I do. I know more than you could even imagine, Sirius Black. Did you ever stop to think that maybe I’m protecting my own heart? That maybe I’m not the one that can’t be trusted? That I’m the one that stays and he’s the one that runs? That maybe, in the end, he will never love me back?!”  
  
His shocked expression told her that she had said too much. With a muffled sob she bolted passed him towards the tunnel entrance and ran.

* * *

  
  
Remus paced the floor of the shrieking shack, his nerves making him jumpy and high strung. He didn’t like what he was feeling, every sensation was heightened and he swore that he could smell her, feel her. Like somehow she was standing right next to him. It made him want her even more. It drove him crazy that he didn’t know where she was or who she was with. Was she safe?  
  
“You okay, Moony?” James was standing in the doorway, careful not to approach him in the final minutes before he would transform.

“No.” His breathing was harsh and he began to claw at his skin. “Where is she?”  
  
James looked to Sirius and Peter, unsure of what to say.  
  
“She’s alright, Rem.” Sirius said gently. “I found her, she’s alright.”  
  
Remus threw his head back and howled, he had to find her. She’d been here, she knew, and he had to find her.

~

  
  
Hermione waited at the edge of the forbidden forest. This was a terrible idea, she knew, Remus had always hated it when she did this, but figuring she was already damned it didn’t matter much now. She heard his faint howl and knew it was time. She tried not to think of the pain he was in before he completely turned into the wolf. Anxious, she waited for them to emerge from the tunnel under the Whomping Willow.  
  
Their pack bolted from the tunnel and headed right to the forest, they were just inside before the wolf leading them stopped. Hermione stayed where she was, knowing full well that he knew she was here. She waited until their eyes locked before she ran. In her animagus form she could easily keep up with them, something that told her they were better together than apart. Anyone else might have feared for her, that maybe the wolf chasing her put her in danger, but Hermione knew better. She knew Remus, and even if he didn’t know it yet, he knew her.

* * *

  
  
Remus found himself in the same bed he always woke up in, only this time, someone was laying beside him. He tried to take a deep breath, but his chest hurt too much to take a full one. The memory of the brown wolf he’d chased all night was still in his mind, and even though he didn’t see her transform, he knew it was Hermione.  
  
“Easy.” Hermione whispered. “Don’t strain yourself.”

“Hermione.” He croaked. His eyes were still closed, he knew it would hurt too much to open them.“Yes.”  
  
He tried to mentally assess the damage to his body, finding that he really wasn’t too banged up this time. He had expected much worse. His skin felt clean and warm, and his senses were flooded with Hermione. He laid there, letting her run her fingers over his scarred chest, enjoying the moment. Enjoying the comfort she brought just by being near him. He finally lifted his tired eyelids so he could see her face.  
  
“Tell me who you are.” He whispered. “Please.”

She cupped his face and rested her forehead on his. “Only if you promise to not leave me.”

It took significant effort, but he lifted himself just enough to place a gentle kiss on her soft lips. “I don’t think I ever could.”

Silent tears slipped down her cheeks. “Yes, you can. You did.”  
  
His shaky fingers wiped away the stray tears as he waited for her to continue.  
  
“Remus, I’m... my name is Hermione Jean Granger, and I’m your mate. Technically, I won’t be born for another eleven years. I traveled back in time to have another chance with you.”

“You... what?”

“It’s how I know so much about you, about everyone. My first year of Hogwarts was in nineteen ninety-one. I met you in ninety-three, and you rejected me... in ninety-five.”  
“Why?”

A small bubble of laughter escaped her lips. “Several reasons. You were too old, I was too young, you couldn’t provide for me, there was too much going on in the world, it wouldn’t be safe, we couldn’t jeopardize the movement, you would only be a distraction to me. Pick one.”  
  
Well, that sounded exactly like him.  
  
“I came back to change that. To change everything. I know our fate, Remus, and I couldn’t live with it.”

“So this... this war that’s coming, it’s still going on? In... in your time?”

Hermione nodded. “It finally ended in ninety-eight, but at terrible cost. Too many bad things happened. I just couldn’t live without you.”

“So, I die?”

Hermione nodded slowly. “I came back for selfish reasons. I left my whole life behind. I’m destroying entire fates by doing this, but... I love you.”

Remus reached for her hand and clutched it tightly. “Well, I’m not exactly the same man that you knew.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I hope that you never become the man I knew. He was broken, and I couldn’t save him.”  
  
Remus already knew what he was going to do, regardless of whatever she had to tell him. The moment he transformed he knew that she belonged to him, and he belonged to her.

  
He kissed her again, simply because he could. “Then maybe this time, I’ll get it right.”


End file.
